October 7th, 2011
February 5th, 2012 (yes, that's right...I was going for a record! 120 day cycle...)
March 11th, 2012
April 18th, spotting...right after some "activity" the night before...
A week later a little more "activity"...another day of "spotting", if you could call it that...
Since the end of April my "girls" have been so sensitive that I can't touch any part of them...to the point where sleeping is painful, and to roll over in the middle of the night wakes me up (this hasn't stopped for even one day). I got a little concerned by this and did a self breast exam about a week ago, which was EXTEREMLY painful, but...of course...everything seemed normal. What is NOT normal (for me because I am not "the norm") is that despite my "prolactin" imbalance, I have not had any lactation issues in the last month......curiouser and curiouser...
I've been STARVING for the last 2 1/2 weeks...however, everything I eat I feel like an hour later I'm trying not to puke it up. Nausea non-stop for the last 2 1/2 - 3 weeks, constantly (again something that has not stopped since it started).
I have had really bad allergies this season; considering the weather, change of environment, and the fact that we work/live next to a place that has weed-eating and lawn mowing going multiple times per week. However, for the last week, everytime I sneeze it feels as though my ovaries are going to come jumping out of me...painful and bazaar. (And now, even coughing causes this feeling as well).
For the last 3-4 days I've had multiple occassions of bad acid-reflux. Which, DH gets, but I don't typically (unless I were to eat spaghetti and then go for an hour hike in the sun). Very unusual for me.
I've been exhausted, and no matter how much sleep I get- I'm still exhausted. To which I have been blaming my absent mindedness when I completely lose my train of thought...
Now, all of this can be attributed to stress. My body/system is so messed up, it doesn't take much to throw it for a loop. Look at the length of time between my October and February cycles...that was most definitely stress related (in addition to my medical complications).
I have PCOS and a Prolactin imbalance so no matter what, my body acts as though I am having pregnancy symptoms, however since my miscarriage in April 2007, I have not received a single positive pregnancy test. Five years...and well over five since we went off birth control.
Well, yesterday we were running errands and D brought up that maybe we should grab some tests while we are at the store...I told him all the symptoms I've been having lately and the fact that I always get excited when something weird happens, but it turns out to be nothing- so, I've been trying not to bring it up...
Well, we picked some up at Target - they were on sale...
This morning (cause it's "better to test first thing in the morning")...
We've been in this "hang" mode since being "newlyweds"...not much has changed for us, though we've experienced alot of life since then...now we get to finally move forward with something.
Now, this post is being written on May 17th...however, I won't be posting it until we've AT LEAST hit 12 weeks...so...I'll keep journaling. But, we aren't announcing just yet. After our first positive, and so long of waiting...I know what is smart, and customary, to do...and as much as I'd rather have the support group if something were to go wrong again, I'd rather not get my own hopes up. We've waited so long...and it has been a painful, agonizing road. I've lately all but given up, and felt as though I'll be too old to make much of an effort at a family by the time life itself works out for us to afford treatment. D told me, he was praying a few days ago, that God would give me a sign that would ease me and give us some direction in which we are supposed to head (not just pertaining to infertility treatment or babies). Here it is, we are so guarding our hearts, but we are trusting that the extremely long dry spell was God waiting for His timing to open up the womb and pour out a child upon us. And, that is why we got our first positive in the last five years......
God protect our baby. Keep it safe. Grow it to be healthy, and strong. This precious, long awaited blessing. Thank you Lord.
Oh, and since it was there...Happy belated Mother's Day to me...
