Fertility Clinic Appt- July 13th...

...wow...when will this appointment ever get here...

to have an appointment scheduled out almost 2 months is painful!  we received the new patient paperwork for the fertility clinic extremely quickly, i filled almost all of it out the night we received it...then i received a call reminding me to fill out a health questionaire on their patient portal online prior to the appointment so i did that a few day ago.......and we still have 5 days to go!!!

filling out the paperwork, and sorting through my health history records so that i could make an accurate timeline was depressing the last few days.  as D said, "why? we are taking care of the issue..."...yes, however, sitting and sorting through mountains of paperwork that describe what i've said to my doctors, what tests i've had done, how much is wrong with me, and to think of how long it's been and we have no resolution yet can just get a little daunting...

i have this deep dread that we are going to open this can of worms by doing this, and that nothing is going to come of it.  i trust God, He has always provided for us...but this is something i basically have lost all hope for. it feels like an epic battle with will never conclude, that i may continue to seek resolution...but a baby will never come.

.........depressing, right?..........

anyway, prayers are appreciated.  i'm nervous to start with a new doctor also, but everything i have heard about NCFMC thus far has been good...so we shall see...five more days, and we start a very different phase of this journey!