Oh, the Holidays

Christmas time is such a fun time...I become a little kid during the holidays. I get this from my mom! The one thing I've been really pleased with along our infertility struggle has been that it hasn't ruined the holidays for me. I love fall and winter for what they are and enjoy them all by myself! Most couples really struggle during this time (like with mothers day and fathers day) because it feels like another reminder that the holidays are not quite as meaningful because Christmas is somewhat a childs holiday...

Well, this is the first year that Christmas has brought feelings of depression and that "another year" has passed...another Christmas without a family photo card, without a happy announcement or something exciting to discuss with people at parties. And because my crazy brain functions the way it does...I start rabbit trailing, "and if we don't get pregnant soon we may be pregnant but not have a baby by next Christmas either!"  (Yes, I know, I'm a wreck). Luckily, this year, I was able to get a seasonal job...so I have been working alot over the last month or so...and I think that's the only reason why I haven't had a huge break down just yet. But, we have definitely moved into the next stage of dealing with this...D this summer started feeling the burden as well, and now after Thanksgiving and Christmas I know the holidays are somewhat challenging to get through as well...

Lord, please provide relief soon, we are so weary...