Thursday, April 28, 2011

#NIAW - Bust A Myth - "you're just not hitting it right"

Resolve (the National Center for Infertility) has people blogging about infertility myths to burst the bubbles of those who use them like water. I've read a couple interesting ones...for example (one we've all heard), "You're young, you still have plenty of time"...As I commented on my facebook, D and I originally wanted four kids.  Yes, we are still relatively young, at age 28 and 27.  But, at this stage we will likely have at least more years of treatment before conceiving...the FIRST.  At this point we will be at 30.  If we settle with two or three kids and space them properly (about two to three years in between), when we reach the age of 40 we will have three kids under the age of TEN, one of which will still be either an infant or toddler.  When my parents hit 40...I WAS A HIGH SCHOOLER!  All this doesn't even touch upon the risk factors that go into conception, carrying, and birthing for women beyond the age of 35.  So, I will respectfully reject the notion that we "have plenty of time"...we may still feel like newlyweds, but we've been married for 5 years and have been TTC almost that entire time...the next 7-8 year window before I reach 35 will close quickly.

Now, onto the myth I wanted to address.  "You're probably just not hitting it at the right time".  Really?  Those are some incredible odds...FIVE YEARS and we have only once "hit it right".  No, I'm sorry...but no matter how many times we time it exactly right, it's not just going to happen suddenly.  Remember, the definition of infertility is "a year or more of unprotected sex".  They provide that 12 month window to rule out variables such as timing.  No, once you are diagnosed with infertility whether explained or not, there is something larger at play than timing.

The funny thing, is that despite the fact that our journey is approaching five years, (four years this month since I've seen a positive pregnancy test), and the fact that they have found and identified a few legitimate issues I still hear this "helpful advice" from those closest to me.  I have PCOS and Prolactinemia.  Two legitimate issues that don't just one day decide to stop blocking pregnancy just because we timed it right this month.  Until, we figure out how to treat these (since there is no cure for either), we will not be successful.  And even at that point we may find that there are other factors as well.

This just made me think of an age old saying, "If you can't think of anything nice to say, don't say anything at all".  Those of us in the infertile community are struggling with this issue enough that in addition to the medical advice we are receiving from medical professionals, we are doing research on our own, and know more about the way the female body works (thanks to our issues) than the general public does.  We need to spread awareness, not only so that this disease becomes a NON-taboo topic, but also so that the public does not naively think that because they were fertile and were successful in their TTC attempts that they know better and are the proper people to give advice.......regardless of how well intended the advice may be.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

#NIAW

Well, for today's Facebook lesson for #NIAW I shared that approximately 1/3 of couples experiencing infertility deal with female issues, about a third are male factors, roughly 20% are unexplained, and the remaining are both male and female complications...I also shared something someone posted on RESOLVES Facebook page: the 1 in 8 ratio means that about 12 of every 100 Facebook friends are suffering from infertility! Those are big odds...

I never really thought about that myself, I know of a couple friends but not somewhere around 36 of them! It makes me feel not so alone, and yet makes me realize that there's people suffering in silence out there!

Monday, April 25, 2011

#NIAW - National Infertility Awareness Week

This week is National Infertility Awareness Week...So, I am sharing an educational nugget each day on my facebook page.  Today I posted the definition of infertility:  the inability to conceive or carry a child to term after a year or more without contraceptives.  And that 1 in 8 US couples of child-bearing age are diagnosed with infertility.  I added the RESOLVE Twibbon to my twitter and facebook profile pictures...

So, far I have had a couple friends "like" or comment on facebook...but we shall see...by the end of the week, I hope that all my facebook friends will be a little less naive about infertility and the fact that I am 1 in 8.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

New Dr...time to start over

Ok, well my first Dr. appointment with Dr. Maher of Sutter Medical was this morning.  Did all the routine stuff, he let me explain (in great detail) my history and where we are at now.  And his question to me at the end of all that was "So, what is your plan?" heh, well, I haven't been asked that thus far and didn't really know what to say...but I answered with "As soon as possible!"  That's the obvious answer from an infertile woman, isn't it?

Well, he scheduled a full blood panel work up...but, he said that he is going to need to refer me to a reproductive endocrinologist. My Dr. in Newport Beach did all the typical "low hanging fruit" tests that are what an OBGYN can grasp at, but now we need a specialist to step in and figure out what is going to be the best direction for us from here.  Which makes me happy, because I feel like I'm moving in a direction of some kind (though I don't know what that is just yet).  And I feel a little more justified in my "infertility", though I know I (by definition) AM infertile I can still doubt myself and feel like I'm blowing it out of proportion. 

However, I am nervous.  I will not be seeing a female health Dr. (which is covered by insurance), I'll be seeing a specialist...a reproductive specialist, at that.  Did you know that in the United States only a small portion of the states have passed mandates to make health care cover infertility expenses?  Did you know that as of now, California is not one of them?  So, yes, I'm a bit concerned...things from here on out get more serious, more involved, more expensive, and less of it is covered by health insurance.  I was originally hoping that my Dr. would represcribe the Rx's that I hadn't been on very long before to see if they would truely do the job...and then we would have an alternative that would allow us to be covered and prolong the specialist. But, he believes that there are other options that will be more productive than the two meds I was on...

So, I am waiting to hear about my blood work...and I am also waiting to hear from specialists to schedule referral appointments.  I hope and pray that the neurosurgeons office pulls their act together though!  My Dr. sent them a referral as well so that we could do one more MRI check just to make sure that the tumor is not the issue...they responded that they have no record of me being a patient ever (which is just about as disorganized and clueless as they acted when D and I tried to start this process three years ago).  So, we shall see how that one works out! :P

At least things are moving, right?

Friday, April 1, 2011

so sadly neglected blog...

Wow...I haven't been on here in AGES!

Combination of excuses include:
     *  I've been working full-time since November
     *  Our computer crashed entirely at the beginning of February
     *  Trying to get a handle on life has completely taken all I have out of me.

Ok, so those are my excuses...but, here we are...and here's a new post!

I love Shabby Blogs!!!  Megan (of Shabby Blogs) is amazing and through many circumstances reformatted all the free backgrounds and blog extras that I use...so I'll be refreshing the page and making it look lighter (I liked my previous background, but have to admit it was a little depressing...).  To make your blog beautifully shabby chic click here, to follow the Shabby Blogs Blog click here.

Further more...I have some updates...
As it goes with working full-time, I now have health benefits!!!  WooHoo! Finally, so I am beyond eager and excited to get the ball rolling all over again and hopefully find some answers.  I searched for hours a couple weeks ago for a Dr. that could rival the amazing Dr. Clayton that I had when we were living in Southern California...and found one (I think anyway).  Someone I work with, who is pregnant, recommended a certain group at the local hospital/medical group and he is in that office...and one of his "interested" areas in his profile is "infertility" (the only one I found that said that).  So, I requested all my records and scheduled an appointment.........now, if only the 19th could get here so we can get moving already!
I am very eager and anxious, the working full-time has been a strain on our marriage due to the schedules we've been keeping, but it has helped me in the dwelling on our infertility aspect of the whole thing.  Though, since time is still passing and babies are still not being made...I have had a few breakdowns at work...FIRSTS! (Read my other blog post "First Breakdown at Work" for details on that).

I see I have acquired a few more followers since last posting (thank you for following)...and hope to gain more! I also hope to be much more faithful in blogging, especially since I am hoping to actually have something to post about again!