first time for this depressing thought...

well, i have been rather successful at finding every thought in the depths of my mind to depress myself with, regarding babies, pregnancy, and the lack-there-of...but i had a new one last night...first time ever for this one!

my brother-in-law, who i am quite close with and see as my own brother, is getting married next summer...it's just incredible. it makes D and i feel REALLY old......his fiance (who i have gotten pretty close to also) is asking me questions about our wedding and asking for suggestions on stuff, which i am THOROUGHLY enjoying!!!

last night in contemplating ideas for her...i didn't even rabbit trail into this, it just popped straight up: if our baby had survived pregnancy and delivery, not only would we have a 2 1/2 year old right now (which we've discussed a few times) but they'd be the only neice/nephew in the family and would possibly have been in the wedding because they'd be 3 1/2 by then......weird.......weird to think about, and weird how that image popped into my mind while i was thinking about her color choices...

well, luckily, my mind changed lanes because i forced it to...and i didn't have any major break down...and we have discussed how old our little one would have been quite a few times in the past, which helps with the processing of the greif...but ya...weird that enough time has passed to have that apply...